Domestic violence is a common reason that people choose to file for divorce. It is also a top reason that people feel anxious about the idea of divorcing. Many people are aware that attempts to leave abusive relationships often result in an escalation of unstable and dangerous behavior. The months spent navigating the divorce process and the weeks immediately after a divorce are among the most dangerous times for those who have experienced domestic violence.
How can domestic abuse survivors seeking to leave volatile and dangerous spouses protect themselves from the possibility of stalking and other forms of continued abuse?
With a protective order
The courts can issue protective orders to limit the contact between two parties. When one person has proof that they have experienced physical, emotional or sexual abuse from a partner, they can present that evidence to the courts and ask for support. Protective orders limit the ability of an abuser to contact the person who secures the order. Violations can lead to prosecution and additional penalties for the domestic abuser.
With appropriate living arrangements
Many people choose to go back to their families if they can when divorcing because of domestic violence. In some cases, including scenarios involving minor children, the victims of domestic violence may remain in the family home. If they choose to do so, they generally need to take steps to protect themselves, including changing the locks and installing security systems. Lock changing can be a controversial step without a protective order, as both spouses generally have the right to access the marital home. People may need help planning for the best possible living circumstances based on both the need for physical security and day-to-day stability.
With support in shared custody arrangements
The courts do not necessarily limit the parental rights of an individual who has engaged in domestic violence. Whether or not they targeted the children or committed acts of violence in front of the children can influence how a judge divides parental rights and responsibilities.
Unsubstantiated allegations of domestic violence may not have much impact on a custody arrangement. However, the parent who has experienced domestic violence can request certain forms of support. For example, they can request to make custody exchanges in a public location, such as the parking lot of a local police department.
In scenarios where there is reason to worry about violence toward children, the courts may even agree to supervise visitation. Shared custody can be a way for an abuser to manipulate the other person or gain access to them without proper planning.
People attempting to leave abusive relationships often need help, and that’s okay. Having a plan to limit risk and optimize personal protection can make it easier to safely divorce after enduring abuse during marriage.
